The Best ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: Does Christian Even Go Here? Betches

She should have smashed that guitar. Meanwhile, Kevin is walking around asking why everyone likes Blake when he’s not even that good looking. GREAT QUESTION, SIR. You can sit with us, Kevin. The girls get together and start sh*t talking Hannah G, and I’ve been wondering when the women would start to realize that little miss innocent over here was actually just a life-size doll commissioned by ABC execs, designed to every man’s dream measurements, and intended to f*ck up all the women’s good times. Dylan, like the sad sad soul he is, decides to approach Hannah to find out what’s going on between her and Blake. Because I guess the BDSM madam that usually beats the sh*t out of …

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Pregnant Friends Betches

So, your friend is totes preggers. It’s kind of the end of an era. No more carefree blackouts and one-nighters. More diapers, less mascara, and basically zero free time. Regardless of how your bestie is doing while a human tapeworm essentially hijacks her body, there are some things you just don’t ask or say once she tells you the news. It’s 2019 and I shouldn’t have to list these out, but being almost five months pregnant myself, I’ve found that people really, truly, have no sense of decorum when they see a baby on board. I’ve been taken aback multiple times at the things people have said and, for the record, I am not easily offended (hence why I write …

Five Summer Sandal Trends For Under $100 Betches

1. Barely There Minimalist Sandals The minimalist strappy sandal trend is yet another ’90s trend making a come back this season. This style has been big recently among celebs, like the Kardashian and Jenner sisters, so like, what more proof do you need? This style sandal is perfect for pairing with all your sundresses this season because it’s elevated without being over-the-top (contrary to some of the other trends on this list). This style sandal also looks cute worn with denim shorts and a button-down, or ripped jeans and a tee. Basically, it’s a must-have sandal because it’s guaranteed to look good with all of your outfits. Can’t beat that! Zara Strappy Mid-Heel Leather Sandals, $79.90 Topshop HIPPIE Flat Sandals, …

I Hope Hannah B. Doesn’t Get Engaged On ‘The Bachelorette’ Here’s Why Betches

Whatever your feelings are on the new Bachelorette pick, I think we can agree: the last few seasons have been severely lacking. Becca Kufrin and Rachel Lindsay handled themselves with grace, don’t get me wrong. But they also both wound up with supremely disappointing mates: Becca’s, a man who liked memes so offensive they made my eyes water; and Rachel’s, well, a man who isn’t Peter Kraus. (This is not just Peter-favoritism; Vulture, The New Yorker, and The New York Times all agree with me.) On the flip side, the last two Bachelor seasons have ended with our suitor saying “f*ck it” and doing whatever he wants, regardless of how it messes with show protocol or their runner-ups’ emotions. And sadly, I have more faith in both of …

This Is Who Is Statistically Most Likely To Win ‘The Bachelorette’ Betches

Bachelorettedon’t convince my friends to place their wagers, I like to be as informed as possible. And thankfully for us, the kind folks at sent me over the odds! Sports Betting Dime provides expert picks and industry data on sports and entertainment. I wonder if they’ll also provide the odds of whether I’ll ever be able to forget the sound of Colton shaking like a leaf on national television, because I see that in my nightmares! Let’s take a look at the odds they pulled for us before last night’s premiere! How did they come up with these odds, you say? I’m glad you asked, because they provided a very helpful paragraph about that and I didn’t even have to …